Cafeteria Lady paced in the back of the cafeteria. She needed to call for help. What were those other superheroes names? She met them at The Hero Convention. A totally top secret place for superheroes to gather and mingle and network.
“Um, Cafeteria Lady,” started BookWorm, “How about that hero, Fast Food Fatso, and his sidekick, Buger Boy?”
“But!” She exclaimed, panicked now, “Not him and his…Super-Size-Me powers! You remember what happened last time, don’t you?”
BookWorm made a face, for yes, she remembered what happened last time he used those powers.
“We could get Taco Tantrum!” Cafeteria Lady said loudly and happily, relieved she remembered someone’s name.
BookWorm’s disgusted scowl returned, “Really? She’s, you know, insane. She thinks she’s immortal, and everyone else isn’t at her level.”
“You mean…she’s not immortal???” Cafeteria Lady gasped, truly surprised.
“No,” BookWorm shook her head. “How about Chicky Super Chick?”
“You mean, the one who thinks she got her powers from a radioactive chicken sandwich???”
“Yeah,” BookWorm replied, looking down, a little ashamed.
Cafeteria Lady whipped out her cell phone, and quickly scrolled through her contacts. There were a few rings and then:
“Hello? This is Chicky Super Chick speaking.”
“It’s Cafeteria Lady! We need your help!”
– – –
“So,” Chicky Super Chick started, twirling a lock of blonde hair on her finger, “there’s a tentacle monster in the gargabe can?”
“Yes! How do we defeat it?” Cafeteria Lady asked.
“Well, I’d need to see it. I’ll use my Chicken Vision!!!!” She screamed the last part, and put her hands to her temples and stared at the trash can.
A young high school girl walked by and said, “You know, you guys can always jump in or whatever. Like ya know, be tough and intimidate it. Or something.”
“What are you doing here!? We secured this area!” Exclaimed Cafeteria Lady.
“More importantly,” said BookWorm, “where is your hallpass?”
“Right here,” she said, holding out a small card with a picture of her face, and the name ‘Pearl White’ printed on it, “And you guys used string to secure the area. Some dude ripped it apart ten minutes ago.”
BookWorm looked at it and said, “Well, Miss White, where are you headed?”
She was cut off by Chicky Super Chick’s scream, “SHUT UP! YOU’RE MAKING IT HARD TO CONCENTRATE!!!!”
Cafeteria Lady put her hand on the other hero’s shoulder, “I like this kid’s idea. We’ll just jump in, yell a battle cry, and go all in and beat it up.”
“What if it just captures us?” Asked BookWorm.
“That’s just a chance we’ll have to make.”
“Take,” corrected Pearl, “It’s a chance you’ll have to take. Honestly, I’m not sure it’s a chance to take. How about one of you jumps in and go from there?”
Cafeteria Lady gave her a stern look, “Just get into the bathroom already!”
As Pearl walked away shrugging, Cafeteria Lady got ready to jump in. Was she nervous? Not too much. She’s a superhero, after all. Did she know what to scream to intimidate the beast? Oh, yes.
“Cafeteria Lady! You can’t,” said Bookworm.
“I can. But if I’m not back, remember me.”
BookWorm rolled her eyes, “If you’re not back in fifteen, I’m calling Fast Food Fatso cause he’s been doing this longer and knows what to do.”
She made a face but said, “Fine.”
“Be careful,” BookWorm said, as Cafeteria Lady jumped in.
She fell longer than she intended to, and when she hit the ground it was hard, like cement. It hurt some actually. It was dark in there, and she couldn’t see much, but she felt how cold and damp it was. She ran forward and with a fierce yowl screamed:
“FEAR THY RAINBOWS OF FURY!!!!!!!!!”
She ran and ran, not quite sure where she was headed, but then she tripped. Looking back, she saw something slither slowly away.
“Hey,” quietly hissed a voice.
“What!?” She asked loudly.
“Not so loud,” the strained whisper replied, “it’s asleep. Just come pry us lose.”
“Okay,” she said in a loud whisper, putting her hand in front of her as she moved forward. “Where are you?” She asked.
“IN A FRIGGIN GARBAGE CAN!!!!!” A boy voice loudly yelled.
The whole underground cavern started to rumble.
“For real, Todd!?” The girl’s voice yelled angrily. “You woke the thing up!”
“I can’t take it anymore, Angel. It’s dank down here. It makes me mad.”
Tentacles flew over and around Cafeteria Lady. She held out her fists, but her hits where useless. Only air was being beat. A tentacle hit her in the side. She wavered, but caught herself. She was in quite a pickle. Without being able to see, she was useless. Chicken Vision would’ve been great. A slimy tentacle wrapped around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Her only option was to yell.
“FEAR THY RAINBOWS OF FURY!!!!!!!” She screamed again, pulling away at the tentacle on her ankle.
More wrapped around her arms and body. She was stuck. She needed help.
WHAT WILL CAFETERIA LADY DO?
WILL BOOKWORM CALL FAST FOOD FATSO IN TIME?
TO BE CONTINUED IN ISSUE FOUR!!!!!
Psst! Just wanted to say…it feels like forever since I posed a Cafeteria Lady chapter. Was it that long? Anyway, I hoped it didn’t bore you too much. See you next time.